[Jokes] God's Computer (fwd)

Steve Hill steve at navaho.co.uk
Tue Mar 12 16:05:14 GMT 2002

>                In the Beginning
> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
> On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was.
> (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and "active low"
> signals didn't yet exist.)
> On the second day, God decided upon a demo, and tried to read
> the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And
> the universe wasn't. God learned the importance of backups and
> memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day (and his first all-
> nighter) reinstalling the universe.
> On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me
> a sign!" And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the
> original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately
> realized that "new and improved" wouldn't do justice to such a
> grand and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most
> Significant Bit.  Many bits followed, but only one was so
> honored.
> On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and
> 'logical shift' instructions. And the original bit discovered
> that -- by performing a single shift instruction -- it could
> become the Most Significant Bit. And God realized the importance
> of computer security.
> On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0
> of the ALU, with wonderful features, and said "Forget that add
> and shift stuff. Go forth and multiply." And God saw that it was
> good.
> On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented
> pipelines, register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk,
> restartable instructions, microinterrupts, race conditions, and
> propagation delays. Historians have used this to convincingly
> argue that the sixth day must have been a Monday.
> On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced Windows into
> the Universe, and it hasn't worked right since.

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