[Jokes] The funniest joke in the world is...

[McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)]

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The funniest gag in the world is...
The world's funniest joke has been unveiled by scientists at the end of the
largest study of humour ever undertaken.
For the past year people around the world have been invited to judge jokes
on an internet site and contribute quips of their own.
The LaughLab experiment - conducted by psychologist Dr Richard Wiseman, from
the University of Hertfordshire - attracted more than 40,000 jokes and
almost two million ratings.
The joke which received the highest global ratings was submitted by
31-year-old psychiatrist Gurpal Gosall, from Manchester.
It is: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He
doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips
out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is
dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First,
let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back
on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
People logging onto the LaughLab website were invited to rate jokes using a
"Giggleometer" which had a five-point scale ranging from "not very funny" to
"very funny".
One intriguing result was that Germans - not renowned for their sense of
humour - found just about everything funny. They did not express a strong
preference for any type of joke.
People from the Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand most
enjoyed jokes involving word plays.
Top joke in Scotland: I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my
grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Top joke in England: Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to
insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets
quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first
again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you're
drunk."
Top joke in USA: A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local
golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a
long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in
mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have
ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we
were married 35 years."
Top joke in Belgium: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why
do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Story filed: 11:09 Thursday 3rd October 2002